“Good catch” She laughs.
Noshin stares at her, the confusion all over her face. How can you have so many friends and be so different around each of them?
“Third culture kids tend to be very social and adaptive people because they are constantly having to make new friends.” Claims the website I Was An Expat Wife. So how socially different are third culture kids to normal kids?
“I think that because I’ve experienced so many different places and people I’m able to connect with a wider range of people.” Says an eighth grade student attending UWC. Having lived in quite a few countries the student has really been able to experience different people and cultures and as she said those things make her able to connect with a wider range of people. This anomaly is something very common to these world travelers and 95% of the interviewed subjects admitted to having a very diverse friend base because of this ability to connect with very diverse and differently unique people.
Some of the questioned subjects felt however that they don’t have much of a say in the friends that they make, “We are going to have a varied mix of friends because we are in a place where there are people from all over the world so obviously we are going to connect with very diverse people.”
So does this phenomenon occur because of their clearly different and more adaptable personalities or because they are simply put into a position where they don’t have much of a choice? Well according to the subjects it was an exact divide, fifty, fifty.
Author Courtney Runn from the article TCK for teens, suggests, “Having to say hellos and goodbyes very often these kids learn to establish deeper connections faster than most peers.” A lot of TCK’s find that after having to make friends so quickly so often it becomes a ‘simple concept’ and learn to skip past the uncomfortableness and awkwardness that adolescents know too well.
Despite only focusing on the TCK’s of today many adults struggle with their new more stable lifestyle. Twenty five year old Joel Winget, “I don’t like change, but I need it.” Many of these people find that there is a very unique thrill to changing environment, culture and even having to make new friends and transitioning into a usually more stable adulthood isn’t easy for all of them.
This reveals that in spite of having this constant ‘hardship’ of having to say a lot of hellos and goodbyes kids still learn to love this way of life. “The constant sense of uncertainty and fear of going to a new place and meeting new people is what I think that the excitement of life is all about. I can’t imagine living in one place my whole life and not going insane.” Says the fourteen year old TCK.
This paradox though is really only specific to these change craving migrants as after interviewing a non TCK they conveyed, “As I don’t particularly like change I can’t imagine having to adjust that often and make new friends so quickly. Leaving my life long friends now would break my heart.” And so it becomes even more clear that the different homes TCKs have has impact the way they look at making new friends and the way they look at change as a whole.
So is this a good thing or not?
Maria Foley, author of I was an expat wife.com suggests, “Because of their knowledge of other cultures TCKs get excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills,” However she also speaks of these kids having somewhat a fear of commitement especially with relationships. So this suggests that although these kids create relationships quickly they sometimes aren’t as deep as the normal only one culture kid.
So to the TCK readers, as you move forward in your adventure know that as you continue on the journey that is life you will find durable and sometimes endless relationships with both TCKs and non TCKs.
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