In today’s world, people are faced with high amounts of stress and frequently feel burdened. From parents to children, young to old, individuals are often worried and feel pressure in day to day activities. Sometimes, this anger can be controlled, however at times it all becomes too much. The books “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett and “Blue Gold” by Elizabeth Stewart both portray characters that are heavily burdened and are the subject of a lot of bottled up stress and anger. In “Blue Gold”, Sylvie lives in fear of the conflict around her, and at the same time tries to support her family. Similarly, in “The Help”, Minny has to support her family, manage a job, and try to resolve conflict between her employer and an enemy. These authors provide variations of a similar idea, that expressing our feelings with others close to us to ensures people do not reach a tipping point where this stress turns into misdirected anger.
When describing Sylvie’s mother in “Blue Gold”, Elizabeth Stewart shows that unnecessary anger is the result of not sharing feelings with family. To give context, the mother lives with high amounts of stress, due to the loss of her husband. She finds herself trying to manage her household, with 4 children, and lives in fear of a war happening nearby. Stewart describes her hair as “sprung in clumps all over her head, as chaotic as the brain inside.” The conclusion can be drawn that the mother is trying to cope with the pressures of her life. The constant worries have translated into chaos in her head, which is not beneficial to her wellbeing. This large amount of anxiety translates into her being “only half with the children”, as Sylvie describes her.
Consequently, this high amount of stress then transforms into misdirected anger with family. This was evident when Sylvie suggests that they move to Canada, which has been a hope of hers for years. After innocently asking her mother, the mother cried out in response saying, “Who will help me with the children, unh?” She also “[struck] Sylvie hard across the cheek.” Some people may interpret this to be a result of Sylvie’s unique suggestion to move to Canada. On the contrary, it clearly seems that the mother is trying to cope, Stewart describing her as “Tears of ... helplessness rolled down her cheeks,” just before the slap. These pieces of evidence are significant because they illustrate the misdirected anger caused by the mother’s struggle to cope with her problems. The mother is helpless, and without knowing it, becomes overly irate. Having raised Sylvie from birth, the mother obviously has high amounts of love for her children. However, these high amounts of stress resulted in unintentional anger towards Sylvie.
Later on, Stewart shows the reader how it is essential to share our feelings and emotions with others, to prevent this anger. On a day after dinner with her family, the mother suddenly starts to cry, her “Thin shoulders heaving deep waves of pain … all of the pain of the last five years.” This crying then leads to a hug between the family members. Stewart describes the mother, “stiffen, then gradually relax.” Sylvie also thinks, “Talking about it makes it better.” These pieces of description show that when talking with her family, the mother is able to lean on others for support, and become the person that she usually is. The misdirected anger can be detrimental to relationships between family members and does not lift a burden from the mother. By expressing her feelings with others, Sylvie’s mother has lower amounts of stress and less anger when trying to cope with the stresses of her life.
A similar variation of the idea is evident in the “Help”, by Kathryn Stockett. Similar to Blue Gold, Stockett describes a heavily burdened character. However, Stockett deepens the understanding of the theme by describing a tipping point, a point when the anger becomes too much. Minny, a character in the “Help”, has many stressors in her life. She is a full time nanny, and the mother of 3 children. The frequent occurrence of problems is illustrated when Minny’s problems are described as, “Kindra and her mouth, Benny and his asthma, my husband Leroy coming home drunk 2 times a week.” Minny also thinks to herself, “When am I going to clean my own house? Wash my own kids’ clothes?” These snippets from “The Help” demonstrate that Minny has a lot to deal with in her life. These large strains on Minny may result in lack of mindfulness and attention to detail, which then can lead to a chain of more problems.
At first, Minny tries to cope with the demanding strains of her life by herself and with the help of God. Stewart describes her as “praying to the Lord and the devil” to try and cope with her pain. Like all of us, Minny tries to manage on her own.
Later on in the book, however, Minny is fired from her job, resulting in large amounts of anxiety for Minny. Unlike Sylvie’s mother, Minny is aware of how it is all too much for her to handle. She comments to her children, “Mama need to be with somebody not pulling on her for five minutes.” Instead of trying to deal with it herself, Minny realises that she has become overly stressed, reached this tipping point, and she needs someone to talk to. When going over to Aibileen, her friend’s house, Minny shares her feelings about losing her job. Aibileen comforts her, calmly telling her, “I’m sorry, honey … So what if she takes a nip or two to get through the day? Go talk to her Monday.” These words from a friend can comfort Minny, and make her realise that everything will be fine in the end. The gesture of Aibileen helping her shines light on a different perspective to her problem, one that she may have not considered before. This evokes calm, as opposed to the anger that comes from not sharing feelings. Minny talking to Aibileen shows that family does not have to be the only people we talk to. This contrasts to Blue Gold, where Sylvie’s mother talks with her family.
When describing Minny, Stockett illustrates to the reader when this tipping point is, and how it is essential for someone to relieve their stress before this crucial moment. In Blue Gold, the idea can be applied - Sylvie’s mother passed this critical moment, and this resulted in anger. She had so much chaos in her head, and stress on her shoulders, that she had to express her feelings. Although there is a difference in the way the characters act - the message is still the same. Throughout both of the books, the authors demonstrate that we need to share our feelings with family members to relieve our burden and stop this unnecessary anger.
This same idea can be applied in the daily lives of people in the 21st century. As the world continues to become very fast paced, we realise that we become increasingly stressed. We have to be aware of this tipping point for ourselves, and make sure that we do not pass it. What is critical to realise is that we all have different points where everything becomes too much. We must be aware of ourselves and our own limits, in turn maximising happiness and reducing anger.
On the contrary, some argue that expressing feelings with others creates greater dependability. Although we do sometimes become dependent on others, what critics fail to realise is that by talking about our feelings with others, we also strengthen a bond between people. Our friends and family feel entrusted with information that makes us vulnerable, and have a responsibility to help. This strong connection with people close to us outweighs the small amount of dependability that we may feel when talking to others.
Through these two award winning novels, sharing feelings is a proven way to cope with stress, however you may find other effective solutions. Remember that we are all unique people with unique needs, and maybe sharing feelings with others does not help as much. Other strategies may be writing down feelings and playing sports.
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