The Weight Of Regret

Everyone has something they are guilty about. Whether it’s taking some loose change from the coffee table without asking your parents, or not giving in your homework on time. Any of these circumstances can happen to anyone, if it is a toddler, teenager, or even a parent. All these emotions of guilt, wrongfulness, etc can make any small memory unforgettable. In both Khaled Hosseini’s book, ‘The Kite Runner’ and Hasmukh Amathalal’s poem, ‘I Regret It’ there is an individual feeling ashamed of their past and their wrongdoings. In Hosseini's ‘The Kite Runner,’ the individual, Amir, is represented as a much stronger figure compared to Hassan, his servant. Hassan constantly looked up to Amir because he was literate and could write amazing stories, whereas Hassan couldn’t. As Amir matures he tries to get past his mistakes and make up for his regrets. His regrets being how he treated Hassan, and how he normally took whereas Hassan often gave for him. In Amathalal’s ‘I Regret It,’ the individual is a commoner who tries to be forgiven by “HIM.” The “HIM” being God in this context. A precept we can take away is that everyone needs to be forgiven for something, no matter who they are and the aftermath can be varied.

Initially in ‘I Regret It’ Amathalal recounts how “[he] should have acted wise but did not follow” and describes how “inwardly [he] felt something had gone wrong,” as most people guilty of doing something they weren’t meant to can relate to. The sense of achievement soon fades away when you realise the negative impact you’ve created on others and “no one is able to see your guilt.” Furthermore in ‘The Kite Runner’ Hosseini describes how Amir doesn’t follow his morals and does the wrong thing by framing someone else for a theft he committed. “I lifted Hassan’s mattress and planted my new watch and a handful of Afghani bills under it,” says Amir as he had completed the first step, “in what [he] hoped would be the last in a long line of shameful lies.” Furthermore even though Amir succeeded in his plan, when he saw Hassan and Ali’s “red, puffed-up eyes” he “flinched, like [he’d] been slapped.” Additionally he questioned how he’d “become capable of causing this kind of pain.” Whenever someone commits a crime or a theft, etc, they know would have a negative impact on another individual, they suddenly start regretting the decisions they made and may start accusing themselves as Amir did by calling himself a “liar, a cheat or a thief.” Both texts help display how after anyone executes something against their morals, they tend to feel unsatisfied and disappointed in themselves.

On the other hand Hosseini describes how “ [Amir] [has] been peeking into that deserted alley for twenty-six years,” the alley that “changed everything.” Showing us that although Amir had tried to move on from his past, he would constantly go back and relive every moment. Some may argue that time heals all and is the only way to progress without anything holding you back. While this may be true Hosseini argues that “the past claws it’s way out.” Amathalal also believes the same by saying “it will constantly hurt me and bite” displaying that the guilt you thought would never affect you again, will remotely haunt you for the rest of your life throughout whatever you do. Amathalal further explores this idea and concludes that the “past may influence.” This is evident in ‘The Kite Runner’ because the reason Amir went to rescue Hassan’s son, Sohrab, was because he realised “[he] had to do it, for Hassan” showing that although it had been twenty-six years, to repent his regrets he had to do what was necessary to help him forgive himself. All in all, both texts symbolise how throughout your lifetime you will try to redeem yourself, whether it is five years later or thirty, the past will always comes back around and to get rid of it you have to right your wrongs.

Amathalal expresses an idea of how an “immediate redress may relieve the worry,” showing that instant remedies may help rectify your past mistakes. In ‘The Kite Runner,’ while Hassan was get assaulted by Assef and his gang members, Amir “ran” showing his cowardice behaviour. On top of that Amir acted oblivious towards what had just happened to Hassan by questioning him. He was asking things like “Where were you?”, although he knew the answer to that, and defending himself by exclaiming “I looked for you!” Moreover after they reached back home Amir “buried [his] face in the warmth of [Baba’s] chest” displaying his vulnerability and showing his need for sympathy after what had just happened. Amir also states “ I [he] forgot what I’d [he’d] done. And that was good” This further amplifies the fact that he couldn’t begin to believe what he just saw and felt penitent towards it. Because of this he felt that forgetting about it would be the easy way out. Additionally in Amathalal’s ‘I Regret It,’ Amathalal says “no more guilt to fear but cheers and joy” explaining how an easy fix can often lead to people being happy and feeling free as they are now not worried about the consequences that may have been present otherwise. With all things considered, often times people don’t know how to express their guilt so they will help cover it up with instant resolution which definitely isn’t long term. These instant resolutions often times help people feel reassured because they think that the issue has been fixed. These actions are taken by everyone, even if you are said to be the bigger person.

Whilst both texts deal with the aftermath of guilt, Hasmukh Amathalal’s ‘I Regret It’ and Khaled Hosseini’s ‘The Kite Runner’ are also different because one deals with God and one deals with a companionship, respectively. In ‘The Kite Runner,’ Amir is often described as the person Hassan looks up to whereas in ‘I Regret It’ the commoner, being the narrator, is definitely at a lower status than who he wants to be forgiven by, which is God. Although there is a difference, the way the issue is dealt with is very similar. The aftermath completely depends on the situation too, whether you try coming up with a short term solution or just forgetting about what happened. While some may argue that guilt is relative and people handle it differently, both the texts show that the way most handle the feeling of wrongfulness is similar, concluding that everyone needs to be forgiven for something, no matter who they are and the aftermath can be varied.