The Sexist Divide - What society teaches us from birth

“She’s a girl. She can’t play with us.” The voice echoed in the basketball player’s mind. She slumped down in the locker room, cradling her ball to her chest. The day’s events replayed in her head, from school to the bus ride, to basketball practice. She bent her head over, small, painful tears running down her face. Her face burned when she thought about practice. Hugging the ball so tight it hurt, she wondered how she was going to face school tomorrow.

This isn’t fiction. This athlete is only one of many facing sexism in their sports. Even in a school like UWCSEA (east), the sexist divide is still evident even in today’s world. The above example is a minor one, one of many that build up and damage an adolescent’s self-esteem.

A good example of sexism in early ages is a Toys”r”Us store, or most other toy stores. Looking at one from a distance, you can tell the difference in each half of the store. Pink and purple for girls, and every other color for boys. Kids grow up with this thinking, if one thing is used by girls, it can’t be used by boys.

Studies show that 90% of “girls’ toys” are colored pink and purple, while “boys’ toys” come in every color except pink. Some companies are starting to change, such as the Nerf “Rebelle” line, but there is still a long way to go before achieving actual equality.

Another part of this sexism is the kind of toys kids play with. Girls get to play with pink colored baking kits and makeup kits, while there are robot and train building sets for boys. What does this say about women’s role in life?

“Women are still remarkably underrepresented in the U.S. Congress, in science, math, engineering and technology—in any area that could remotely be identified as “the upper echelons of power”—well, it starts in the toy aisle” says Nancy Kaffer, from The Daily Beast. Toys should be neutralized, according to experts, because girls and boys should not have to conform their interests to what society thinks is best.

Fast forward a few years, into middle school. Where kids shift from playing tag to sipping drinks around tables. Similarly to how society picks toys for kids, it sets the standards for your behavior, from your clothes to your activities.

Walking into the H&M Men’s section is strange, but acceptable for a girl. For boys though, it’s a little stranger. Boys just can’t wear dresses. Why is it we have this judgment of what girls and boys should wear?

A possible explanation for this could be that in the past, men were viewed as superior to women. A woman wearing clothes from the Men’s section is unconsciously viewed as stepping up to a man’s level. On the other hand, choosing to wear a dress is stepping down a level for a man.

“Nice shoes, but aren’t they a bit boyish?” Asked a friend of a middle school student at UWCSEA. The shoes were colored red.

“We’d made progress in erasing arbitrary gender divisions….but we stopped” says Kaffer. Once upon a time, society became close to accepting a boy playing with a kitchen set, or a girl playing rugby. Except we didn’t get there.

In class, boys are often asked to help pick up heavy items, and generally expected to be louder and more active. Girls are expected to be more creative, or intelligent, and work harder than boys.

When playing sports, 3 out of every 5 girls feel they are underestimated, according to a study done in UWC. This affects many students, as it puts pressure on their self esteem.

“It does make me feel like I will never be taken seriously,” an anonymous source from UWC says. “People don’t take my love for science seriously, and that is quite discouraging”. It becomes more clear that underestimation or just not being taken seriously can affect a student’s passion for a sport, subject, or hobby.

Why is all of this important?

The reason is, all these minor things lead to as small, but much more impactful events in the future, such as discrimination against colleagues at work, or less opportunities for girls at college. “Subtler forms of sexism that women face can be even more difficult to handle than explicit discrimination,” says Jessica Valenti, writer for The Guardian. This evidence is significant because it demonstrates how hard it is to fix small but hurtful actions.

Men and women are not able to work, play and do everything in between without society choosing the rules. The small things that we see from an early age, like the choice between pink and blue, slowly build up over time, developing into standards for behavior, sport and intelligence. “For young women, there’s added pressure. Because once they get a decent job, they still have to contend with structural workplace discrimination, overtly sexist behavior and a weight of social expectations”, says Natalie Gil, also from The Guardian. Added onto previous evidence, this portrays what young women face in today’s world.

So the next time you go shopping, be aware of the number of small, insignificant forms of sexism that takes place. All of them are why we still believe men can’t wear dresses, or women are not as athletically capable as men. They are the reason girls feel discouraged when they proclaim their passion for science, or the reason boys feel insecure about their hobby of ballet or art. Our society needs to change this, and the small stuff is the starting point.

Or you could pick up a basketball and show them how it’s done.

By Rhea Goyal

Valenti, Jessica. "Everyday Slights Are Just as Harmful to Women as More Blatant Sexism." The Guardian. The Guardian News and Media Limited, 15 Nov. 2015. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.

Kaffer, Nancy. "Sexism Begins in the Toy Aisle." The Daily Beast. Newsweek/Daily Beast, 29 Nov. 2014. Web. 1 Dec. 2015.Gil, Natalie. "It's about to Be a Good Time for Young Working Women." The Guardian. The Guardian News and Media Limited, 23 Nov. 2015. Web. 2 Dec. 2015.

Success, or just stress?

The high schooler sighs as she glances at her clock,1:49 am. Her headaches, she can barely keep her eyes open from the long nights of studying and has got little sleep during the past few weeks. She stares at her textbook, thinking hard, then scrunches her paper into a ball in frustration. She sinks down into her chair as the her hope fades away slowly like a fire turning to ash.

Homework is meant for students to continue their school learning outside class but for many, studying for long hours each night, pressure from parents, frequent exams, tests and assignments only leads to a weight of stress on their shoulders.

Too much homework can lead to stress, negative behaviour and health problems, depression and a lot worse. Research shows that in South Korea, the amount of teen suicides rise each year dramatically as exams in school starts. According to the National Statistical office, 1,000 students from ages 10-19 committed suicide from 2000 to 2003 due to stress in school studies. This shows the high stress levels in Korea that are leading to teenagers committing suicide as a last resort. In addition, Korean Teachers and Education Workers Union and the Korea Youth Counselling Institute have surveyed Korean teens on if students had considered the idea of suicide. 48% of all the students had suicide ideation.  

Just as in South Korea, in UWC students are feeling stressed in school studies. A high school student says she often feels stressed and tired from the amount of studying. “Tests in high school have become very overpowering and stressful. It gets especially tough because of the upcoming IGCSE’s,” she says. Studies have shown that more than two hours of school homework everyday is counterproductive and she agrees, “When I am stressed, I tend to sleep very late and am up till 1 to 2 am studying, which leads me to being very tired at school and unable to study or understand what the teacher is saying,” she says. The National Sleep Foundation recommends that teens should be getting at least 9 and a half hours of sleep each night, however 58% teens sleep less than 7 hours each night due to studying.

Stress from school studies leads to the question, what is causing this pressure in middle school students? Is it self pressure to get better grades, peer pressure to be as clever as your friends, pressure to not disappoint your teachers? These could all be reasons why students face pressure to do well in studies, but most students say that the pressure to do well comes from their parents.

Another middle school student explains the harsh consequences of not doing good enough on exams at school. “I am always very stressed when doing tests because I know that if I don’t do well, there will be consequences. One time, my parents were so disappointed with my grade that my mum didn’t allow me to meet up with friends or use my phone for 2 months as well as doing intensive maths studying every day,” she says.

How do we stop stress in studies? Since most of the pressure on school studies in middle school comes from parents being harsh on their children, parents should be more forgiving and help their child improve positively, not through stress. Should parents lecture their child? Limit their activities? Punish the child? According to the University of Michigan researchers, parents should create a home environment that stimulates learning. When there is a good environment at home and good parent and child interactions, children perform better. Punishing and lecturing children and teens results to the child feeling more pressure and stress to do better and can lead to the breaking of family relationships, health issues and negative behaviour.  To prevent stress, parents should motivate and support their children not create more stress. Choose between the path to stress or the path to success.

Sources:

"Statistics Korea." Statistics Korea. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015. <http://kostat.go.kr/portal/english/index.action>.

Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015. <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_in_South_Korea>.

"Is Too Much Homework Bad for Kids' Health?" Healthlines RSS News. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015. <http://www.healthline.com/health-news/children-more-homework-means-more-stress-031114>.

"Teens and Sleep." Sleep for Teenagers. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015. <https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/teens-and-sleep>.

"Bad Report Card: Are Parents Too Tough? | University of Michigan News."Bad Report Card: Are Parents Too Tough? | University of Michigan News. N.p., n.d. Web. 02 Dec. 2015. <http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/23062-bad-report-card-are-parents-too-tough>.