Picture this; Charlotte is cool, popular, pretty. She’s funny, kind and amazing with people. She loves sport and shopping and she’s your classic popular girl. Sophie is a little bit strange, she spends a lot of time completely silent on the outside but animated and noisy within. She loves books and writing fanfiction, she sucks at sport and her fashion sense is a little quirky. In any teen novel, Charlotte is the nasty mean girl who will eventually get her comeuppance and Sophie is the protagonist who will probably fall in love with the popular sporty guy (who is obviously secretly a great guy.) and she’ll become cool and popular and liked by all, leaving behind all her realism.
Pop culture gives us one of two views; the first, that Charlotte is cool and the one we should aspire to be, Sophie is boring and will never amount to anything anyway, and the second that popular girl =bitchy and that Charlotte is shallow and false while Sophie is dorky and relatable. We only get one view never the possibility that both girls are good people and that we can learn from both. Nerdy guys are either our protagonist (such as in “Life in Outer Space” by Melissa Keil) or, (and this is more common), a side character, sometimes shown to be kind and/or smart but never with a love interest or portrayed as attractive.
So why do we do this? Why do we categorize people and disregard evidence that doesn’t fit with the way they’re meant to behave? We have formed stereotypes for thousands of years, it provides an evolutionary advantage in that if we know that a certain type of animal (or person) behaves in a certain way we can be on guard around them. Friendship groups in a school setting are usually quite solid by the age of 11 and while heavy emphasis on “popularity” is most common in middle school and lower high school, most situations in which there are cliques will have some sort of social and popularity hierarchy.
Knowing why we stereotype doesn’t tell us why we associate things like “nerdiness” with being a loser and “popularity” with unkindness, when in reality, some studies have shown it’s not the kids at the top of the pecking order that do most of the bullying, and that many people have identified popular people as being popular because they’re kind and good with people. We also seem to have this idea in our heads that you can belong to one group and one group only! Apparently popular people can’t love Doctor Who and write fanfiction, and if you have glasses and love books you are destined to remain at the bottom. I personally know this to be untrue, as of of the most popular girls at my old school secretly loved to geek out over fanfiction with me.
So how can we leave these stereotypes behind? Well, it’s going to be hard to do that entirely. Teenagers are always going to label each other no matter how much we preach. In fact, some people are proud of their labels, proud of having something to connect them to others. But we need to remember that labels are a perception, not a perfect description. No label can Entirely sum up an individual and nor should we expect them to. Labels can be useful, they can be a badge of honor. But a badge shouldn't define a person and neither should any label.
"Why Nerds Are Unpopular." Why Nerds Are Unpopular. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Nov. 2015. <http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html> Kennedy-Moore, Eileen. "Popular Kids." Psychology Today. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Nov. 2015. <https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/growing-friendships/201312/popular-kids>.
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Third Culture Kids
She screams to Noshin about One Direction coming to Singapore, turns around to talk to Juliette about the math tuition on Saturday and throws an imaginary rugby ball at Jemma.
“Good catch” She laughs.
Noshin stares at her, the confusion all over her face. How can you have so many friends and be so different around each of them?
“Third culture kids tend to be very social and adaptive people because they are constantly having to make new friends.” Claims the website I Was An Expat Wife. So how socially different are third culture kids to normal kids?
“I think that because I’ve experienced so many different places and people I’m able to connect with a wider range of people.” Says an eighth grade student attending UWC. Having lived in quite a few countries the student has really been able to experience different people and cultures and as she said those things make her able to connect with a wider range of people. This anomaly is something very common to these world travelers and 95% of the interviewed subjects admitted to having a very diverse friend base because of this ability to connect with very diverse and differently unique people.
Some of the questioned subjects felt however that they don’t have much of a say in the friends that they make, “We are going to have a varied mix of friends because we are in a place where there are people from all over the world so obviously we are going to connect with very diverse people.”
So does this phenomenon occur because of their clearly different and more adaptable personalities or because they are simply put into a position where they don’t have much of a choice? Well according to the subjects it was an exact divide, fifty, fifty.
Author Courtney Runn from the article TCK for teens, suggests, “Having to say hellos and goodbyes very often these kids learn to establish deeper connections faster than most peers.” A lot of TCK’s find that after having to make friends so quickly so often it becomes a ‘simple concept’ and learn to skip past the uncomfortableness and awkwardness that adolescents know too well.
Despite only focusing on the TCK’s of today many adults struggle with their new more stable lifestyle. Twenty five year old Joel Winget, “I don’t like change, but I need it.” Many of these people find that there is a very unique thrill to changing environment, culture and even having to make new friends and transitioning into a usually more stable adulthood isn’t easy for all of them.
This reveals that in spite of having this constant ‘hardship’ of having to say a lot of hellos and goodbyes kids still learn to love this way of life. “The constant sense of uncertainty and fear of going to a new place and meeting new people is what I think that the excitement of life is all about. I can’t imagine living in one place my whole life and not going insane.” Says the fourteen year old TCK.
This paradox though is really only specific to these change craving migrants as after interviewing a non TCK they conveyed, “As I don’t particularly like change I can’t imagine having to adjust that often and make new friends so quickly. Leaving my life long friends now would break my heart.” And so it becomes even more clear that the different homes TCKs have has impact the way they look at making new friends and the way they look at change as a whole.
So is this a good thing or not?
Maria Foley, author of I was an expat wife.com suggests, “Because of their knowledge of other cultures TCKs get excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills,” However she also speaks of these kids having somewhat a fear of commitement especially with relationships. So this suggests that although these kids create relationships quickly they sometimes aren’t as deep as the normal only one culture kid.
So to the TCK readers, as you move forward in your adventure know that as you continue on the journey that is life you will find durable and sometimes endless relationships with both TCKs and non TCKs.
“Good catch” She laughs.
Noshin stares at her, the confusion all over her face. How can you have so many friends and be so different around each of them?
“Third culture kids tend to be very social and adaptive people because they are constantly having to make new friends.” Claims the website I Was An Expat Wife. So how socially different are third culture kids to normal kids?
“I think that because I’ve experienced so many different places and people I’m able to connect with a wider range of people.” Says an eighth grade student attending UWC. Having lived in quite a few countries the student has really been able to experience different people and cultures and as she said those things make her able to connect with a wider range of people. This anomaly is something very common to these world travelers and 95% of the interviewed subjects admitted to having a very diverse friend base because of this ability to connect with very diverse and differently unique people.
Some of the questioned subjects felt however that they don’t have much of a say in the friends that they make, “We are going to have a varied mix of friends because we are in a place where there are people from all over the world so obviously we are going to connect with very diverse people.”
So does this phenomenon occur because of their clearly different and more adaptable personalities or because they are simply put into a position where they don’t have much of a choice? Well according to the subjects it was an exact divide, fifty, fifty.
Author Courtney Runn from the article TCK for teens, suggests, “Having to say hellos and goodbyes very often these kids learn to establish deeper connections faster than most peers.” A lot of TCK’s find that after having to make friends so quickly so often it becomes a ‘simple concept’ and learn to skip past the uncomfortableness and awkwardness that adolescents know too well.
Despite only focusing on the TCK’s of today many adults struggle with their new more stable lifestyle. Twenty five year old Joel Winget, “I don’t like change, but I need it.” Many of these people find that there is a very unique thrill to changing environment, culture and even having to make new friends and transitioning into a usually more stable adulthood isn’t easy for all of them.
This reveals that in spite of having this constant ‘hardship’ of having to say a lot of hellos and goodbyes kids still learn to love this way of life. “The constant sense of uncertainty and fear of going to a new place and meeting new people is what I think that the excitement of life is all about. I can’t imagine living in one place my whole life and not going insane.” Says the fourteen year old TCK.
This paradox though is really only specific to these change craving migrants as after interviewing a non TCK they conveyed, “As I don’t particularly like change I can’t imagine having to adjust that often and make new friends so quickly. Leaving my life long friends now would break my heart.” And so it becomes even more clear that the different homes TCKs have has impact the way they look at making new friends and the way they look at change as a whole.
So is this a good thing or not?
Maria Foley, author of I was an expat wife.com suggests, “Because of their knowledge of other cultures TCKs get excellent interpersonal and intercultural skills,” However she also speaks of these kids having somewhat a fear of commitement especially with relationships. So this suggests that although these kids create relationships quickly they sometimes aren’t as deep as the normal only one culture kid.
So to the TCK readers, as you move forward in your adventure know that as you continue on the journey that is life you will find durable and sometimes endless relationships with both TCKs and non TCKs.
SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS
Problem with sibling relationships - Are your sibling relationships healthy or unhealthy?
Having an older sibling is good because you have someone to look up to even if you have your parents, but is it true?
Just imagine twins. Usually people believe that twin are best friends, right? But usually, people, even parents like one twin better than the other. Are the twins trying to steal each other’s spotlight? Yes. Are the twins trying to get people’s attention? Yes. They fight with each other to get people’s attention, and fight to get love from BOTH of the parents instead of one.
It is natural for sibling to fight. It is pretty hard to find siblings that get along with each other. Parents usually have the hardest time trying to get their children to get along with each other. It is not the chores, it is not the shopping, but it is their children.
It is natural for sibling to fight. It is pretty hard to find siblings that get along with each other. Parents usually have the hardest time trying to get their children to get along with each other. It is not the chores, it is not the shopping, but it is their children.
Sibling conflict usually happen because of parents, like it is a divorce, or your mum have a not so brilliant idea of having you to chose with your own seat in the dining table, and you and your sibling fight for the seat that is closest to the TV? Small arguments like this can drift sibling apart. Siblings with divorced parents relatively are closer to each other, because they rely on each other to survive through a single parent, while that parent is at work, the children will take care of each other, help each other when needed.
“We only argue about the most randomest things like who gets the last piece of chips or who is the best.” Ella, an eighth grader, agrees.
What about the people who are an only child? They usually have more friends and they tend to trust their friends more than the people with siblings. They have more trust on other people then their family members. The good thing about being a single child is that you do not have to fight for seats, the last piece of pizza, for anything.
They why are sibling relationships important you ask?
Sibling relationships are important because:
1. Friends might come and go, but you will have siblings will stick with you for your entire life. This relationships is one of your longest relationships that people have experienced.
2:Siblings have the same genes, the same interest, grown in the same environment. Siblings might be different, but you generally have the same interest, the same ideas, same hobbies etc. just because you share a house, perhaps sharing a room, even sharing the same food maybe. They know that they will always have each other, and that bond them together even more when they are together.
3. A support from an older sibling can drive academic achievement. The older sibling helps with work, while the younger sibling copies the older one, and the older sibling can give advice of what is good or not like which classes to take etc.
So how close is your sibling to you?
According to businessinsider.sg with a survey with 7,730 americans, only 30% will call their sibling for an emergency, and over 60% said that their sibling was one of their best friends.
Bonding with your sibling is really important, even if their parents treat them differently, your sibling is one of the most important people in the world. People tend to bond with their sibling more than bonding with their parents. Are you close to your sibling?
By: Lydia
So how close is your sibling to you?
According to businessinsider.sg with a survey with 7,730 americans, only 30% will call their sibling for an emergency, and over 60% said that their sibling was one of their best friends.
Bonding with your sibling is really important, even if their parents treat them differently, your sibling is one of the most important people in the world. People tend to bond with their sibling more than bonding with their parents. Are you close to your sibling?
By: Lydia
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Is bullying just an issue in schools?
Bullying is not just a crisis in schools, at the beach in Krabi Indonesia a girl was suffering through what was supposed to be a vacation.
Saraiah seemingly a very nice girl had been criticising a smaller girl, Anna, on almost everything in Anna’s life.
Saraiah, “What is that shirt?” Anna, “Umm” Saraiah “I had one like that like three years ago”
None of the people around seemed to notice the bullying going on and Anna kept quiet. The girls were brought together by a group of friends they were with. Anna started going off for 10 minutes at a time and came back with her eyes all red.
The group of friends were too busy playing volleyball to notice the girls constant disappearances. However, a lady sitting nearby knew exactly what was going on.
“Don’t you notice your so called friend is getting extremely hurt by this nasty girl???” The lady yelled at the kids. After clarification with the friends they got to terms with what was happening with Anna.
The friends spoke, “We didn’t know what was going on or we would have done something as soon as Saraiah started. We feel horrible that we let this happen to our friend and that we introduced her to Saraiah. We completely cut Saraiah off now and hopefully Anna will get over this.”
By Eloise
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